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Saturday, September 20, 2014

He Wished To HOLD On To...

He carefully adjusted the bag on the suitcase, straightened his back and then using his fore finger pushed his glasses to sit perfectly on his nose. Just a few steps from him, were his wife and son. He wanted to walk away from them but he could not. His wife's tears had still not stopped and his son was doing his best to comfort her.


His mind quickly took him back to the time when his younger brother had decided to go to a bigger town to earn his bread. He seldom saw him after he was gone. The distance got between them.



Years later, it was his son, who had decided to go to a foreign land to pursue his Masters. As a father, he was proud and happy for his son but the fear of losing him to the fast-paced, glamorous world was gripping him. His wife was probably afraid of the same. Lucky her, she could cry her heart out, while he just stood there, bearing the ache in his heart and maintaining a comforting smile on his face.

Cooooo- the train whistled from a distance. His heart skipped a beat! Tears swelled up in his eyes. He vaguely saw a figure walk towards him and hug him. He wished he could HOLD on to that moment for ever. He wished he could HOLD on to his son. He wished he could HOLD up the train. He just wished!

The tears rushed to hide behind his salt-and-pepper beard and went unnoticed. The thought of his son carving a beautiful future for himself sprung back and so did the comforting smile.




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This post has been written for Five Minute Fridays- the writing flash mob, where bloggers get together to write on a common topic, all in just 5 minutes!
Prompt for today - HOLD!



P.S. - This also happens to be my second piece of fiction. The first can be found here.




25 comments :

  1. Awesome fiction :) I think I should start jumping in on the flash writing blog mob! I like that in such a short time you really painted a picture :)

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    1. You should definitely give it a try! I was amazed to see that I could actually write something meaningful in only five minutes, when I usually take hours to compose my posts! It is a fun exercise.

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    2. I write a lot, so I'm not worried about that bit (I'm a little typing tasmanian devil), but I definitely don't take enough time just getting lost in words and writing 'whatever', I always am way too strict with what I write!

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    3. Breaking boundaries helps us to explore more about ourselves. That is what this five-minute of writing has done to me and I am loving it.

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  2. Such a touching story that every parent can identify with. I liked it from the dad's point of view: afraid to cry but unable to stop. Really pretty.

    Mary-andering Creatively

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    1. Thank you so much, Mary! The only thing dads are afraid of are tears- be it anybody's! And that's what makes them special :)
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. Tanya, you should try this for the 31 day blogging challenge! see where the 31 days takes you :)

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    1. 31 days of blogging! Though I'd love to take it up but I don't think I am ready yet. It would be a big commitment for me. BUT I am saving this suggestion and hopefully, I'll get to it someday with full enthusiasm! Thanks for the suggestion, Summer <3

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  4. isn't it just amazing what you can dream up in all of 300 seconds?

    love love FMF, don't you?

    ;-}

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    1. Absolutely, Linda! I owe my fiction writing to FMF.

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  5. I love that you write fiction your FMF too. I love to do that.

    This is beautiful.

    http://www.saltandsparkle.com/home/2014/9/19/hold-five-minute-friday.html

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    1. As a matter of fact, FMF is the only reason I write fiction :)
      Thanks for the visit, Nicky.

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  6. Fine writing. You held me in the grip of these words.
    Visiting from FMF.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

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  7. Good writing... I could never write fiction Tanya. You did nice work.

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    1. Thank you, Nayana :) Good to see you here after long!

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    1. Thank you, Veronica! Happy to know that you liked it.

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  9. Well, my dear Tanya, you just described the moment my only daughter departed for her mother's hometown of Toronto, Canada, and her father reacted EXACTLY as your fictional father does here!! I would have been crying just as the mother does in your 5 minute story, but I was lucky enough to be accompanying her to her new home, to get her settled and show her around her mother's old haunts! We miss her terribly and hope that she comes to visit soon!!

    Your sensitivity towards your characters and their situations makes your writing heartfelt and familiar.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Poppy

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    1. Awww! Dads are the sweetest! The way they love their little girls, no man can ever love her.

      I know how both of you feel but trust me your daughter misses you just as much. Hope she is loving Toronto as much as her Mom loves the city :) Do you get to see her during the winter break?

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    2. You are always so kind with your comments, Poppy!

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